Power of Positive Talk

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did... fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

Being defeated is often a temporary condition, giving up is what makes it permanent

Source of confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankrupcy. Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you." He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time."Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought. With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man."I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the hospital and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller. "And she led the old man away by the arm.The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after. Renew your confidence from within…….

Does Life need to have a purpose?

A very young terminally ill girl wrote out a beautiful poem on her hospital bed. It ends with these simple lines:

Life is not a race, do take it slower Hear the music, before the song is over.

We spend hours recording music instead of listening to it live. We waste time capturing experiences on film, while we should be savouring the experiences. We are forever rushing to be some place, and when we reach there, it is rarely the place we wish to be! Is there a purpose to life? Is it to gain fame, success, and wealth? Do these acquisitions make us happy? Look at animals. Animals go through life instinctively and naturally. They hunt when they are hungry, mate when they feel the urge and sleep when they are tired. They exist fully in the present.
Man is not happy with the world around him. He is forever at odds with nature. He would like to change the world to suit his wants, instead of living with nature to fulfil his needs. We are constantly in a rat race, forgetting that even if we win this rat race we still remain a rat! But how can one live without goals, you may ask. Let me then ask you this. How many of the goals you set out and achieved have given you true happiness? While working towards these goals, did you feel happy or stressed out? After reaching these goals, did you stop to enjoy the result, or did you plod on mindless towards other distant goals? Why don’t you try instead, for a change, to just enjoy what you are doing, without worrying about the result?
Ask any successful and wealthy man who is also happy, and he will tell you that he did what he loved to do, not because it would make him wealthy. When you enjoy the journey, the destination is always the right one for you. Within you there is the awareness of what is right for you. All that you need to do is to let that happen. Do not resist, just accept what life dishes out to you; flow with it in acceptance. What results is Ananda, bliss! Ananda the attitude, it is the path of ecstasy, rather than the path to ecstasy. Ananda is already there inside you, you only have to recognise it and set it free. Be blissful!


The amazing Moser Baer story – How Deepak Puri Won

All of us, at some point in our life, have read the story of King Bruce and the spider -- the disappointed king who took heart from the spider, which fell many times to finally complete the Web.
Deepak Puri, chairman and managing director of Moser Baer, is one such Bruce of the modern times.
He never complained or looked for excuses; he tried to find solutions. If he had problems at the Indian ports, he set up his own supply chain. If he had problems with power shortage, he did not crib. He just went on to set up a captive unit.
He faced a series of setbacks in the 40 years of his business life, but he never quit.
A masters in mechanical engineering from the Imperial College of Science and Technology, London, UK, Deepak started his business career from Kolkata.
His first factory -- Metal Industries Pvt. Ltd -- manufactured aluminum wires and pipes and AC conductors. But, labour militancy -- this was when the trade unions in Bengal ruled the roost -- forced him to shut down his factory.
This did not deter him. He started a second business -- this one was about manufacturing time recording devices for the banking industry. But, before Deepak could even settle down, the militant labour union members stormed into his unit and poured acid on some of his machines. Both his attempts to do business had come to a naught.
His wife and wholetime director and promoter of Moser Baer, Nita Puri recalls the tough times. She says, "In spite of all this, he fought all the way. He did not buckle.
He was gheraoed at his plant but it didn't bother him. Only when they actually gheraoed our home that we decided to move out."
Deepak was down but not out and he was ready for the third attempt. "It was pure chance. I knew nothing about floppies, those days" confides the chairman and managing director of Moser Baer, adding, "Actually, I went to Mumbai to a friend's office. Those were the days of power shortage in Mumbai and people used to practice self-regulated power shedding. They switched off their electrical power voluntarily in their offices and houses."
"When I entered his office, he was fanning himself with a newspaper. So, I picked up the first object I came across to fan myself with -- an 8-inch square black object. But before I could begin fanning myself with it, my friend grabbed it back! It was a floppy disc. Believe me, I knew nothing about it or its data storage capacity."
Deepak had just spotted a business opportunity.
Wasting no time, he flew to California to talk to Xidex, then the largest manufacturer of data storage media in the world. India was not a known country at least on the technology front, those days. But the enthusiasm and conviction that Deepak brought to the table impressed Xidex to partner with him.
Thus Moser Baer came into being in 1983.
The company, which started with 8-inch and 5.5-inch disks today, ranks among the top three optical and magnetic storage (which includes CDs, DVDs, CD-Rs, CD-RWs and Lightscribe CD-Rs in the world.) Moser Baer stands for technology that matches the best in the world.
In R&D, it has set many industry benchmarks. It is the lowest cost optical media manufacturer in the world and has a human resource pool that is proud of every disk that leaves its facilities, with the 'Made in India' stamp, flashing proudly on it.
What makes him tick?
So, what keeps them at the head of the line and prevents them from stagnating? Listen to what Raghavendra Rao, an analyst from Frost & Sullivan, a leading business consulting firm that offers market research and analysis, says: "They keep on attempting to improve themselves.
When their products start maturing or declining, they are ready with the next one.
When the floppies went out, they moved onto CDs, and when CDs were in the mature phase, they moved onto DVDs, which are now in the growth phase.
When the DVDs go into the nest phase of maturity, they will be ready with the next product."
And Deepak Puri knows that the fun has only just begun. To this day, Deepak keeps on trying -- this time to make Moser Baer an all-encompassing technology company, which will last 100 years from today.
His grit and business sense should make this a easy goal to achieve! Truly, he's King Bruce for the modern age

Keep believing yourself